eCommerce Summit Review: Making Real Connections Requires You to FIRST Be “Real”

After starting up my new venture and getting serious about its growth, I decided to attend the eCommerce Summit in Vegas. So, I just came back from my first convention and it was an awesome networking experience.  Being a first timer I did a lot of people watching while I was there. Everyone was interacting and “working the room”, but what really stuck with me are the ones that really seemed to connect. Those were the people who were simply keeping it real.

A lot of these people had known each other from other conferences or they had done business together, but the conversations that seemed the most engaging were the ones who seemed sincere. There were definitely some personality types in those rooms.  But unless there was some substance behind the personality it was always a quick hello and me moving on.

• You had the glory hounds who tried to be a part of everything everywhere. You know the type, the ones that have the big sign on them – Look at me, I have arrived…Zzzzzzz weak link, moving on.
• Then you had the lone competitor, the type that viewed everyone as a business rival, they needed to say how big they were and what they had accomplished…Zzzzzzz weak link, moving on.
• You had the “turtles” who stayed to themselves mostly. They were fairly shy and often need to be coached out of their shell.
• You had the humble rock stars…The ones that owned the room not by what they say or did but just by virtue of who they are.
• Then we had the chameleons that changed their personality depending on who they were talking to. They are sort of like the city of Vegas, anything to anybody.
• And finally the clingers who are great for the ego boost, but usually are just giving insincere flattery. They will follow you around in the hopes of building their reputations simply by being seen with you….Zzzzzzz weak link, moving on.

Just by watching all these people you could tell who was comfortable in their own skin and were enjoying themselves and who were the “weakest link”.  The most fascinating thing I discovered was, those that had substance and were comfortable with themselves were the ones that made the most out of every opportunity provided them. Regardless of how “important” they were in the real world they made everyone feel like an equal.

When talking with them you did not feel like they were working the room or lauding their accomplishments over you.  They seemed to generally enjoy meeting you and spending the time talking to you.  It was not about what can I get from you but what can I do for you. You can work a room and meet people without those people feeling like they have been worked.

I learned very quickly that the more you stay true to yourself, the more likely you were to have an truly enjoyable conversation with others. Also the more likely you were to create a connection that will last. Some one asked me at the end of the conference who did I want to start building relationships with and who did I want to cement relationships with?  Those were easy questions to answer.  I want to be involved with people that are real, have some substance and know who they are and what they are about.

The bigger questions is what connections were better to walk away from? That is the harder one to follow up on sometime. Ask yourself, which contact would never grow? Whom should you jettison and just not revisit or follow up, knowing that a connection has to have some roots (depth) for anything to thrive. We all have our strengths and weaknesses but most of the time allowing both to show is your best bet.  Overcompensating for a weakness can turn it from a weakness to a character flaw which will cause people to turn away and become an opportunity lost. Be true to yourself and you will make connections that can last a life time.